While most extramarital affairs end up in court houses and eventually in divorce, there are couples who still prefer to slove the problem, together. Forgiving your spouse is not easy; most of the time, it takes time and too much emotional stress to even get to the point of acceptance, but not necessary forgiveness. Successfully surviving an affairmay still fail. But, those who made it to the end provide good lessons to those who are just beginning to heal the wounds.

1. Stop the affair right away. Yes, this is the first thing you have to do. Take note that your partner has a lot of worries, so when you commit to end it, everything must be stopped from meeting, sex, dinner, phone calls, emails, to texting. Stop everything, period.

2. Be patient, healing takes time. There is no quick-fix solution to heal the pain and receive forgiveness right away. Your partner may be in deep pain, expect that it will take time before he or she can offer forgiveness.

3. Take the blame. Pushing all the blame to your spouse will not help. If you want to begin the process of healing, it is now time to listen. If you are the guilty party, accept the responsibility and constantly reassure your partner that you will not commit the same mistake again.

4. Answer his or her questions without hiding any information. The healing process is much easier when the adulterous partner spouse answers all the questions requested by his or her betrayed partner.

If you have been hiding information about your personal life, now is the perfect time to share it to your spouse. Your partner will better accept you if there are no more secrets he or she needs to know.

5. Submit yourself wholy to your spouse. Whether you are the betrayed partner, you have a better chance of rebuilding your marriage when you submit yourself completely and promise not to have an affair again. When rebuilding your relationship, give time to listen to your partner even if it takes a while.

6. Don’t forgive your partner right away. While forgiveness is the only way to save your marriage, it is still must be earned and not to be given immediately. Overcome the pain first, then begin to rebuild your trust. Forgive after you have overcome the pain.

7. Look for support. Reconnect with your relatives and close friends to help you get through the process and make you feel less isolated.

8. Take time to be together without thinking or talking about the affair. Spend time with your relatives and partner and do activities you both once enjoyed.

9. Do not forget that it hurts.

Surviving an affair is not an easy stage to go through; it takes time, rage, pain, and even tears.Be ready to experience everything.