Alright, let’s agree to disagree.  For countless years now it has been argued that humans are humans, that is they are all the same and hence women and men should be able to communicate on an equal basis.  Then the internet happened and the stakes were further increased.  Online dating men are now trying to communicate with online dating women.  As though the world was not complicated enough already, the cyber-world has now been added to the pot.

As the thinking of men and women is different, resultantly, their dating patterns are also varied.  It is really immaterial whether they are trying to communicate in the real or online world of dating.  The differences will be seen only in conversations that go astray.  So what’s the reason for him saying that to me????  What did she signal through that message?  Now do you see where this is going?  Effective communication doesn’t have boundaries.  Men and women are both searching for common grounds of communications at various levels.

Is There Scope For Hope?

In conversation with online dating men the question that comes up most often is: Can there be any common grounds of communication?  Is it possible for online dating men to communicate with online dating women?  Or more significantly, whether men can use the tools of communication offered on online dating sites to communicate in a more effective and less “manly” manner.

It is possible to alter the communication of men to make it more suitable to the expectations of women who are looking for a partner or a date.  But in order to be practiced effectively, a person must learn how to communicate AND also how to interpret communication.  That is, men not only need to be able to express their feeling correctly, but must also be capable of understanding the expressions of emotion they receive in response.

Men using online dating sites are not hesitant to take advantage of the variety of communication tools available.  But the language they use with each other is a far cry from the language they need to use on dating sites.  While men are more intent on putting forth their points, women are looking to express their emotions and hence may respond with a smile.  Men tend to be more concerned with hiding their insecurities which is contradictory to the female tendency of taking the burden upon oneself .

Controlling Talk?

men want to talk facts whereas women want to discuss emotions.  This is the ever present argument on who is more “I want to be in control” (more left-side of the brain) and who is more “let’s talk about it (from the right-side of the brain).  Scientists say men are clearly more left brain and that spills over into the online dating scene.  Which is why most messages left by men on online dating sites have women wondering “What did he mean by that?”.

There are some rules men can follow to communicate successfully online.

• Don’t play “macho” from the start as if you are a gift to women

• Do not assume that you know why women join online dating services

• Ensure that you use smiles, flirts, chats, emails, message boards and whatever other communication tools are offered

• Do speak honestly and skip the game playing

• Pay attention to what is being said by the other person

• Do ask lots of questions

• Pay regard to the answers to your question

Do these appear simple and practical suggestion to you?  They are meant to!  Online dating men that learn to successfully communicate have learned to communicate honestly with an awareness of how their comments and assumptions affect their processing of information.

Online dating men are better off than their counterparts who look to meet women in the real world.  They can carefully consider information before responding to a woman .  This is probably one of the greatest benefits available to men using dating sites.

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